This month’s Golden Dookie lineup is a chef’s kiss of performative hypocrisy. These folks didn’t just step in it, they bottled it, branded it, and tried to sell it back to us as “freedom.”
3rd Place: Jeff Bezos & the MAGA-fied Washington Post
He bought a legacy paper, gutted its editorial spine, and then nodded along while it gaslit Canadians into thinking they started a trade war. “Both sides,” huh? That’s not journalism, Jeff—that’s Pavlovian cowardice dressed in clickbait.
2nd Place: Sam Altman & the AI Extortion Cartel
Altman sobs that AI must steal copyrighted data to win the cold war with China while cutting multimillion-dollar deals with publishers. You’re not freedom-fighting; you’re revenue-splaining. And congratulations: your own checkbook just destroyed your talking points.
1st Place: Idaho’s Tiny-Fisted Bigots
West Ada School District banned “Everyone is Welcome Here” signs because, apparently, inclusion is now “controversial.” Imagine being so committed to white grievance politics that rainbow hands make you break out in authoritarian hives. This isn’t about neutrality. It’s about enforcing a bigoted monoculture.
Bullshit Level: Radioactive.
This month’s theme? They proved their own guilt. They screamed “WE’RE THE BADDIES” and expected applause.
And we? We call bullshit—with documentation, receipts, and a giant glittering Dookie for your mantle.
Share it. Screenshot it. Meme the madness.
Expose the frauds. And keep your bullshit detectors charged.
This month’s Golden Dookie lineup is a chef’s kiss of performative hypocrisy. These folks didn’t just step in it, they bottled it, branded it, and tried to sell it back to us as “freedom.”
3rd Place: Jeff Bezos & the MAGA-fied Washington Post
He bought a legacy paper, gutted its editorial spine, and then nodded along while it gaslit Canadians into thinking they started a trade war. “Both sides,” huh? That’s not journalism, Jeff—that’s Pavlovian cowardice dressed in clickbait.
2nd Place: Sam Altman & the AI Extortion Cartel
Altman sobs that AI must steal copyrighted data to win the cold war with China while cutting multimillion-dollar deals with publishers. You’re not freedom-fighting; you’re revenue-splaining. And congratulations: your own checkbook just destroyed your talking points.
1st Place: Idaho’s Tiny-Fisted Bigots
West Ada School District banned “Everyone is Welcome Here” signs because, apparently, inclusion is now “controversial.” Imagine being so committed to white grievance politics that rainbow hands make you break out in authoritarian hives. This isn’t about neutrality. It’s about enforcing a bigoted monoculture.
Bullshit Level: Radioactive.
This month’s theme? They proved their own guilt. They screamed “WE’RE THE BADDIES” and expected applause.
And we? We call bullshit—with documentation, receipts, and a giant glittering Dookie for your mantle.
Share it. Screenshot it. Meme the madness.
Expose the frauds. And keep your bullshit detectors charged.