Joint Venture Builds Immersive Autonomous AI Platform Aimed at Total Reality Capture
Consumer platform to be marketed as “Reality Plus” with military platform branded as “Theodon”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
SEATTLE, WA – February 27, 2025: The four biggest names in tech announced today the formation of a joint venture company called Reality Management Systems, Inc. (RMS) This new lifestyle and cognition company will be an autonomous agentic AI platform offering what the partners called a “reality concierge” service, which will include a comprehensive and immersive product suite for both consumer and military-defense markets.
The platform will be built on the companies’ jointly developed PredativeTM AI technology, which seamlessly integrates both predictive and generative AI capabilities. Consumers will access the service through a biometric and prompt-free interface, which leverages global web-connected technology and all data ever collected from every online and offline source a person has ever touched.
The totally immersive PredativeTM AI system will then capture reality and deliver it across every life vector that a consumer could possibly want: from entertainment, to groceries, to crypto-financial management, to automated social interactivity, to pre-packaged news and opinions, to home décor. The AI will then anticipate and serve up reality that matches all of a person’s behavioral, emotional, and material needs in a fully customized way, giving new meaning to the modern mantra of “Living your truth.”
The consumer service will be marketed under the brand name “Reality Plus,” with a trademarked tagline of “We Got You!” to signify the company’s boundary-less support of comprehensive, 24/7/365, reality control for every individual. Consumer services will be available only by lifetime subscription, defaulted in for existing customers, with an escalating fee structure over multiple years, to maximize the company’s revenue stream and payback the initial capital investment.
The company’s defense and military contractor business will be marketed under the brand name Theodon—a combined nod to the Greek god who controls reality, and the MAGA god lording over their businesses. Details of that offering remain classified. The founding companies promised that the consumer and military units will operate separately.
“The reality vertical has been notoriously hard for individual businesses to capture, given how wide and sprawling it is, and how many touchpoints it has in peoples’ daily lives,” said Phelony Chimerapal, spokesperson for RMS. “But today, there isn’t one single part of reality that we cannot capture, control, and deliver seamlessly to any consumer, anywhere in the world, regardless of culture or geography—because controlling reality comes with a mandate of inclusivity.”
Each participating tech giant brings a unique skill set and value proposition, to make the jointly managed company an unmatched force in reality control:
Meta: decades of highly personalized data on how to drive motivation and behavior for 3 billion people worldwide, plus disorienting wearable hardware.
Amazon: decades of highly personalized data for more than 300 million retail consumers worldwide, plus marketplace management, cloud computing, entertainment, and the genericized, both-sides news curation of a dying newspaper.
Alphabet: decades of highly personalized data from approximately 2 trillion annual web searches worldwide, plus information aggregation, creator tools, mobile platforms, automated monitoring technology, and an unmatched ability to backtrack on fundamental values.
Microsoft: world-leading expertise in over-engineering technology products to make them clunky, unpredictable, and unmanageable, ensuring that Reality Plus will be as close as possible to reality itself.
The new venture’s bundled approach to controlling and delivering reality to consumers has the full support of the White House and Congress, and is established with a full antitrust pre-waiver from all relevant government agencies.
“Controlling fake reality is the most critical aspect of establishing truth and individual liberty,” said White House spokesman Will Deportibunch. “We told these tech companies, as the old saying goes, You build it, and they will come. There might even be a presidential medal in it.”
The combined terms-of-service for the four founding companies runs 20,000+ words and contains all the permissions needed to combine forces and make reality control a new reality for everyone everywhere.
“Consumers have invited our founding companies into their lives in so many intimate ways that we cannot just leave that generous access under-appreciated,” said Ms. Chimerapal. “We believe that we owe them every reasonable effort to enhance and manage their reality in ways that they cannot even imagine. Once they start down this road, we’re certain they’ll be in it for life.”
As a first product launch, the Reality Plus service will include a free-with-purchase headset combining VR goggles, ear buds, and self-contained CPAP machine with aromatherapy capability (scent pods sold separately). The sleep control device will use AI-voice recitation of the RMS terms of service as a “green noise” to shut out the external world for a more peaceful slumber.
Thanks to the diligent effort of the Microsoft team, OpenAI’s Sam Altman will join RMS as Chief AI Cook & Bottle Washer in recognition of his indispensable, industry-leading role in promotion, branding, financial communications laundering, and public relations storytelling. In a separate statement, Altman’s agentic AI publicist commented that, “Nothing could be more strrawberyr than to black hole the furniture. Reality capture truly is the hallucination future of bobbleheads.”
Reality Management Systems Inc. was launched yesterday at a secret data-center location, somewhere under a polar icecap.
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Image source (Popular Science)
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